I’m meant to be downstairs right now watching Gilmore Girls with my sister, but I suddenly had a strong urge to write. I was feeling inspired. I just read a little bit of a book called “The Happiness Equation” by Neil Pasricha for a school assignment. I wasn’t too excited to start reading, but once I did, I’m so glad I picked out this book. It’s probably not what the teacher is looking for, but it’s definitely something I’m enjoying.
The content really got to me once I read,
“DO IT FOR YOU.”
Whatever it is that you’re doing, do it for you. Do it for intrinsic reasons, don’t do it to please others. Just do it for you.
And that automatically got me thinking about my blog. I love writing, and it just seems like the perfect outlet to write whatever I want. Whatever I’m feeling, whether it be a poem, a story, or a literal blog post. But if it seems so perfect to me, why do I always end up neglecting it? And that’s when I realized it was because although I enjoy writing for myself, for pure enjoyment, that’s not what I was using this blog for. I somehow got myself to want to do it for extrinsic reasons. Watching these famous YouTubers, seeing all the views, the likes, the comments, the fan base, the free stuff they get 😉 … that seemed so intriguing to me. And I liked to write. So I thought, why not try to do the same, but with a blog? So I tried it. But no matter what I wrote, or how much I wrote, I wasn’t actually enjoying it. It didn’t satisfy my cravings for wanting to write, and it was all because of the intentions behind my writing. I wasn’t writing for the sake of writing, I was writing because I wanted the materialistic benefits. And not only did I not enjoy writing by that point, but I didn’t like the content I wrote either. And that was all because I had the wrong intentions the whole time. Yes, I love the beauty and fashion world. All the YouTube videos I watch are about beauty and fashion. But when I write, although I do enjoy writing about that stuff occasionally, that’s not why I want to write.
It’s way too constricting for me, setting up a theme for my blog (leading me to always fall off of it). But now I think I’ve finally realized that the true purpose of this blog was for it to be a spot where I could just write because it’s something I enjoy so much. Whatever it is that I’m thinking, or whatever I’m feeling, that’s what I want to write about, and writing about things that I thought others would want to see did not satisfy my desire to write.
I really did forgot how much I loved to write.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know I don’t get tonnes of views, but I truly appreciate the people who do read what I have to say. However, I want to make sure that I’m not writing for views, but for the sake of enjoyment.
And to tell the truth, writing that out has made me feel so much happier now.
Here’s to a new start of doing it for myself ! 🙂